Countdown to a New Year: Love - TPW426

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Countdown to a New Year: Love – TPW426

As we continue our countdown to a productive new year, this week we consider how love can help us manage our lives to maximize not only productivity, but also our own joy and peace.

Walking in love can help us manage our lives in a way that lets us be truly productive

During December we’ve been counting down to the new year, with each episode focused on a different aspect of what I see as the mission of this podcast. December is a busy time for many of us, with holiday gatherings, school programs for the kids, end-of-year rush at work, and more. But if you are using part of your time to listen to this podcast, I invite you to use it as an opportunity to pause, look ahead to the holiday and the coming new year, and give some thought to what you want out of the holiday season and the year.

TPW’s purpose is to help you to give you the tools and encouragement you need to manage four things: your time, your life, your stress, and your stuff. As part of our countdown look at those four areas, we considered, indirectly, managing our stress by looking for ways to find joy in our day-to-day lives, and last week how to manage our time and (to some extent, our space) by following peace.

This week I want to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of managing our lives by walking in love.

What does it mean to manage your life?

To me, managing your life means keeping the big picture in mind: Who do you want to be in the world? What kind of life do you want to live (and why)? What matters most to you? Where do you want to end up?

Living with purpose means acting intentionally to ensure that your day-to-day life is consistent with your most treasured values. To that end, we’ve talked about managing stress through cultivating joy and managing time and space by following peace. Another element of this purposeful, intentional living is walking in love.

What does that mean to walk in love? I first heard the phrase decades ago when a pastor taught on a verse from the Bible–chapter 5 of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, in which he urged these early believers to imitate God and “walk in love”. In the decades since I’ve often felt that this might be the hardest thing for us–or at least for me–to do as a human being

This podcast episode is not a religious teaching, though. Regardless of your faith tradition, or even if you have none, I believe this admonition to walk in love can provide all of us guidance in how to manage our lives — how to be productive women who order their lives in such a manner as to maximize our positive impact on the world around us.

So what does it mean to walk in love?

First, we need to consider what love is. Looking at dictionaries, we find definitions such as:

“An intense feeling of deep affection; a great interest and pleasure in something”
“Warm attachment, devotion, or admiration; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another, such as the fatherly concern of God for humankind or a brotherly concern for others” [Merriam-Webster]
“A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.” [Dictionary.com]

The ancient Greeks had many different words for love, summarized by Wikipedia as follows:

Agape, which means, especially, brotherly love, charity; Thomas Aquina explained this type of love as meaning “to will the good of another”
Eros, which is mostly tied to sexual passion
Philia, which means affectionate regard, friendship, usually between equals
Philautia, which means self-love–to love oneself or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”–according to Wikipedia, the Greeks divided this further into two kinds, an unhealthy version (self-obsessed love) and a healthy one (“the concept of self-compassion”)
Xenia, which Wiki says is “an ancient Greek concept of hospitality” and notes that “Historically, hospitality towards foreigners and guests was understood as a moral obligation.”

I find it interesting how difficult it is to define the term; certainly, though, it is than just romantic love, or even maternal love. Looking beyond the definitions of love, to me “walking in love” has various elements or components, including compassion, kindness, grace.

What does it have to do with productivity?

When we think of productivity as being more than getting stuff down, but also making a life that matters, it seems obvious that how and why we do the things we do is an integral part of being truly productive. Artist Vincent Van Gogh is quoted as saying,

“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.”

Productivity, in the sense of accomplishing things that are important to us, becomes meaningful and, I would say, true productivity, when our goals, the actions we take to achieve them, and our day-to-day lives are guided and governed by intentionally chosen principles based on what we believe and what we value. Each of the definitions of love we looked at can be a great place to start.

How can we walk in love–express love in what we do and how we live our life?

We can let love be the deciding factor in the choices we make about what we do and what goals we pursue. With each of the different definitions, consider how each applies in the various areas of your life and how you can use them to guide your choices long-term (goals, etc.) and short-term (daily actions and interactions). For instance, I especially like the definition: “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. When we can let our actions be guided by love, that choice will contribute as well to finding joy and peace. The Dalai Lama has said,

“The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.”

NOTE: This doesn’t mean we should be doormats, putting everyone ahead of ourselves and our needs. Walking in love toward others doesn’t mean you subjugate yourself to anyone or accept mistreatment. Sometimes walking in love means speaking the truth–with kindness and compassion–even when the truth is hard to hear.

Every one of these definitions also applies to ourselves. Walking in love toward yourself means extending grace to yourself, viewing yourself with compassion and honesty–you see who you are, are kind to yourself regardless of your weaknesses, but encourage yourself to do better

The Buddha has encouraged us with this: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

In contemplating the coming year, consider how you can walk in love as you plan the year, set goals, and so on. In managing your life–which includes setting goals, planning how to achieve them, and organizing your day-to-day life–keep in mind that big picture:

What do you value most?
How can your daily life reflect that?

On a practical level, take some time between now and the end of the year to look back over 2022. Evaluate what went right, celebrate the wins, and look for the lessons. As you consider the coming year, ask yourself:

What do I want more of?
What do I want less of?
How will I live a life that is consistent with those things I value most?
In my day-to-day life, how will I walk in love toward myself, my family and friends, my colleagues and clients, and the world I live in?

Some final thoughts

I will be taking next week off and won’t publish a new episode during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. If you’re looking for some ideas and inspiration for your year-end review and new-year goal-setting, check out past episodes that offer ideas on both:

What do you think?

What does walking in love mean to you, and how will you incorporate it into your life in the coming year?

Resources and Links

TPW episode on guiding principals

TPW377 – Laying a Foundation: Primary Values & Guiding Principles

TPW episodes to help prepare for the new year

Other links

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