When we are uncertain of where or how to start, our dreams may seem out of reach. What stands between you and your dream of a life that matters?
The first step to fulfilling our dream is getting past our own mindset
I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about the process of setting and achieving goals. A lot of these questions are expressed in terms of feeling “stuck” and unsure of how to move forward. Many of us aren't sure what goals to pursue, much less how to accomplish them. These questions have become the inspiration for a new mini-series I'm calling “Dream to Done.”
The goals that have the most meaning to us have their roots in our deepest values. Sometimes we have a dream of something we'd like to accomplish or experience, but we make no progress toward turning that dream into a concrete goal and then taking action to achieve it.
The first step to getting unstuck is understanding why we're not taking action–what stands between us and that dream.
Why don't we move forward?
Many women express an uncertainty about their dreams–they aren't even sure what they want, or if they think they know, they're not sure it's possible for them.
So what is behind this uncertainty? We go into a bit more depth in the podcast, but some of the causes are the old, typical ones:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of judgment
- Fear of making the “wrong” choice
- Fear of disappointing the people we care about
- “I don’t have what it takes.”
If you have a history of letting yourself down, that can create self-doubt and a lack of self-trust.
Lack of Self-Awareness
Some of us have spent our lives just taking care of business and simply never taking the time to think about what we actually want.
Some of us have trained ourselves–consciously or not–to subdue our dreams and feelings in favor of supporting other people. (Hint: this is a false choice.)
What other causes might be behind our hesitation to take action toward fulfilling out dreams? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Overcoming the uncertainty
So if we identify what's holding us back, how do we get past it? We can choose to take steps toward clarity and confidence.
Change your mindset and the language that you use.
Instead of saying, “I don’t know,” say, “I will learn.”
Change your mindset from “I wish” to “I will.”
We can choose our mindset.
Learn to see failure differently.
Failure is an event, not your identity.
Failure is temporary.
Failure is feedback.
We never really fail until we stop trying.
Failure is a hallmark of growth, not a reflection of character.
Ask new questions.
“If I did know the answer, what would it be?”
“What step can I take today in the direction of my dream?”
“If I could do it, how would I do it?”
“What is the worst thing that could happen if I go for it?”
“What will my future self thank me for doing today?”
Nurture the habit of being aware of what you want.
Start a list of 25 things you want–big or small. (Bonus points if some of the things you want are things you already have!)
How can we set a goal if we don’t know what we want out of our own life?”
Choose just one goal to start with.
More about this in the coming episodes in this “Dream to Done” mini-series.
Homework in preparation for the next episode:
- Be thinking about your dream. Journal about that dream in as much detail as you can. Include what may be holding you back from achieving that dream.
- If you have questions about setting or accomplishing goals, please email me so I can address them in future episodes.
Resources and Links:
Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution, by Brené Brown
Announcements & Reminders
- I have a few openings in my schedule this year for speaking engagements. If your group, club, organization, or event would benefit from a conversation about productivity and making a life that matters, let's discuss how I could add value through a presentation, keynote, or workshop. Email me!
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