Self-care is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and we don’t have to feel guilty about it. Join Jaime McLaughlin and me in this latest episode of the Productive Living series as we talk about quick and easy ways to care for ourselves each day so we can be productive, efficient, and present for what matters most.
Self-care is an important part of making a life that matters
Jaime McLaughlin is a lifestyle coach for moms, a self-care strategist, and a professional hair and makeup artist. She is the founder of The Mac House Co. and the host of The Unfiltered Motherhood Podcast. Through her educational platform, Jaime helps women prioritize self-care daily – without the mom guilt. She is passionate about helping women take care of themselves in the midst of a selfless season of life and truly learn to thrive in all areas. She’s also a married mom of 4 kids.
Jaime first started her career as a hair and makeup artist, working with weddings and other events, for about 14 years, all while having her children. Jaime breastfed all her children and was able to find a way to fit their feedings in, in between the events she worked at.
This career initially was perfect for Jaime because she could fit time in with her family while still working on her career. After a while, though, it became more and more difficult to leave her children for events, especially when she was gone for 12 hours at a time.
After having her 4th child, Jaime felt a really strong push to be done with weddings and other events, even though it was the only career she had never known. She felt there was something more for her. She made the executive decision to not return to doing weddings and events once her maternity leave was complete. Jaime’s husband was supportive of this decision and this gave her space and time to evaluate what she wanted to do with her life. She knew she wanted to do something online, something she could do passively and scale over time. She started out by making a PDF beauty guide because women were constantly asking her about what techniques and products she used. Over time, this PDF guide turned into a beauty course and the rest is history!
While working with women over the course of her career, Jaime noticed that they have so much guilt and shame associated with taking care of themselves and spending time doing it, and would compare themselves to other women they saw on social media. Jaime saw the opportunity to connect with these women, showing them how to care for themselves without guilt through The Confident Mom Method, which is now the main course she offers on her website, amongst others. Jaime teaches women that putting themselves last is not a good strategy and is not sustainable. It only leads to burnout. There are so many small habits that we can infuse into our day that can foster more energy, productivity, positivity, and joy.
What does self-care really mean?
The definition of self-care is:
“The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, or the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”
Jaime thinks this is a great definition but she changes it up a bit to say that self-care is about proactively making choices and creating habits to ensure that you are able to sustain your lifestyle (or the lifestyle you want). Self-care can be a tool you use to thrive in your daily life, not just survive.
Lately, self-care has become a bit of a marketing ploy and there are a lot of products on the market for self-care as well. These marketings ploys are all reactive though, not proactive, and that’s what Jaime is trying to change. It’s not all about bath bombs and chocolate-these things don’t change what is at the heart of your stress. Jaime wants women to understand that there are many different levels of self-care (going to therapy, advocating for your health, communicating with your spouse about your needs) and what self-care means for you can change throughout different seasons of your life. Once you are able to recognize what your self-care needs are and accept them, you can care for others.
Jaime’s Mission Statement
Jaime has a mission statement for her business, which is listed on her website. This statement includes the following:
- To change the culture of our homes by focusing on the moms’ mental health, physical health, and emotional wellbeing.
- To help moms gain confidence and style so they can show up as the best version of themselves without the mom guilt.
These two points in her mission statement are so important.
With the first statement, Jaime thought about the old saying that “when mom’s not happy, no one is happy”. This is usually said in a negative context but Jaime wants us to think about it in a more positive way: when mom is healthy and thriving and nourished, everyone will be happy. Society has taught women that they are to give themselves fully to their families, abandoning all of their own needs and focusing entirely on others. But at the end of the day, this doesn’t serve anyone well. You may have seasons in your life when you really are giving your all to your family, but generally speaking, Jaime wants women to always value taking care of themselves and paying attention to their needs. There is power in taking care of yourself in a deep and meaningful way. It can make a significant difference in your home and family.
The second point is about Jaime helping women transform themselves into a different, more confident person who is proud of her appearance. Even though the reality of a women’s life doesn’t change through this process (her job, kids, finances, etc.), when your appearance changes and you are happy with it, it can change the way you act and view things in a positive way. Jaime wants women to know that it’s not vain or selfish to want to look and feel beautiful, with pretty hair and clothes, and to not feel guilty about putting time and money into their appearance. When you feel good on the outside, you can be the person you want to be and show up in a positive way for others. You can focus on them, instead of focusing on your own appearance and what others may be thinking of you.
The importance of getting ready in the morning
When it comes to getting ready each day and presenting ourselves well for others, whether we are working from home or going into the office every day, it matters because it has an effect on how the day goes and how productive you are.
Jaime likes to encourage women to start each morning with habits that will have a positive effect on their day-the big domino that will have a domino effect on the rest of your day. Some habits could be working out, drinking water, eating healthy, journaling, etc.
Jaime likes to emphasize the habit of doing your hair and makeup because although you may not be thrilled with your figure right now, you can see the results of your pretty hair and makeup right away. It’s like a “big win” and has a high return on the investment of your time. A quick 10 or 15 minutes can lead to increased confidence, energy, and productivity. Once hair and makeup are done, you can continue to “habit stack” throughout the rest of your morning and day, which will provide the best results.
When you’re deciding how “ready” you’re going to get for that day (full makeup and hair? business clothes or casual clothes?), Jaime says to think about what kind of day you’re going to have and go from there. If your intention is to fully rest on this day, adding extra habits in is not something you need to do. But if you have a full schedule ahead of you or you’re in a funk and simply want to feel better, add those habits to your day.
You have to ask yourself continuously if particular habits will serve you well on a given day and apply them as needed.
Jaime’s beauty and grooming tips for busy women
The first thing Jaime recommends is having your outfits ready for the whole week. On Sunday evening, lay out outfits for each day in any category you may need: exercise, leisure, work, etc. Lay your clothing out in a place you’ll see it first thing in the morning, perhaps on your bathroom counter, right next to your vitamins. When you wake up, you can get dressed right away and be ready for the day. Jaime finds that when she is prepared in this way for the day, she can get ready so much faster.
Jaime also recommends that instead of washing our hair every day, which can be incredibly time consuming, to instead just wash one to two times a week and maintain that style throughout the week. Jaime has a Self-Care Sunday routine in which she takes a shower, shaves, washes her hair, and does a blow-out. She touches her hair up throughout the week. Check out Jaime’s program, The Confident Mom Method, which includes The Thoughtless Hair Routine.
Tools and resources Jaime recommends for making self-care part of a productive life
Jaime really tries to encourage women to keep it simple, don’t overthink things!
For example, with makeup brushes, there are dozens and dozens of makeup brushes one could buy, but Jaime has created a bundle of just six essential ones that she feels are the best.
Jaime also likes to use products that can be multi-purpose, like bronzer for example, which can serve as the bronzer itself but also as a blusher and eyeshadow. Neutral eye shadow palettes can also be used on the cheeks or as eyeliner.
Jaime says to keep your makeup bag simple too. Only have your six makeup brushes and the products you use every day. Keep the bag streamlined because it takes time to dig through lots of products. Be efficient with the products you have and know you don’t have to overdo things to get the results you want.
When you work with Jaime and take her courses, she can make additional recommendations to you based on what’s most important to you in your products-price, time applying, if the products are clean and/or organic, etc.
If you are just starting out learning your beauty routine, besides Jaime’s courses, beauty stores like Sephora or Ulta may not necessarily be the best place for you to go for advice, as they are not always professionals. YouTube can be a good resource but remember that the influencer could be paid to make product recommendations that may not work for you. Be careful where you go for advice and tips.
What does “making a life that matters” mean to Jaime?
To Jaime, making a life that matters means living with intention and making choices that align with her goals and values. Sometimes we live our lives making choices that reflect our childhoods or other past decisions. Jaime wants to make choices based on what’s best for herself and her family and live in the current moment.
What do you do to get back on track on a day when everything gets away from you?
Jaime definitely has these days and when they happen, she may not always deal with them in the healthiest way but she is aware. Just because she teaches self-care and efficiency doesn’t mean she’s an expert!
Jaime is always listening to her body and mind, reading the room, and noticing without judgment what’s going on around her.
She has many days of burnout and overwhelm. Overwhelm is the best indicator that something is off and you need to make a shift. On bad days, Jaime tries to take note of what exactly is off in her day or routine and decide where she needs to make a shift.
Recently, Jaime was diagnosed with adult ADHD and over the course of two years has taken steps to be aware of what works best for her on a good day, and what to do on bad days to get back on track.
Jaime’s last words for the listener
Self-care is not counter-productive, it doesn’t slow you down or take away from others. We need to think of ourselves as valuable and make sure we remain “fully charged” and protected so we can be our most productive. If we don’t take care of ourselves, eventually our body will shut down and force us to take care, so be proactive and make smart choices now.
What do you think? Questions? Comments?
Do you have questions for Jaime or me? Please share them in the comments section below or in The Productive Woman Community Facebook group, or send me an email.
Connect with Jaime
- On her website
- On Instagram
- On Facebook
- By email
- Listen to Jaime’s podcast
- Check out Jaime’s free mastermind
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